 |
|
 |
|
Friday, Jan. 28, 2005 - 6:19 pm Today I had a very clear list of goals. I was to pick up my passport from the post office, get lizabethany a birthday present, get vaccinated for my upcoming trip to Bali*, get glasses seeing as I may be over using my contact lenses leading to massive eye implosion. I achieved none of these goals. I did however get a leg wax and pick up my plane tickets...so it wasn't a complete waste of a day right?... ...right? * I am going to Indonesia! I'm thinking of starting some sort of bet going as to the exact manner of my untimely demise, in order of likelyness they are; - Motor Vehicle Accident - Disease - Plane Crash - Terrorism - George Bush - Pirates - Tsunami - Shark Attack - Giant Squid Attack - Killed And Sold For Organs Anyone have any other methods I haven't thought of yet? If you guess the correct one then I might just have my Accidental Death Insurance signed over to you...thats a cool $25,000 I'm worth..which is frankly kind of sad...my boobs alone should be worth 10 grand each... But you try arguing that... In other news my date went well, there was much of the chatting and so forth. There was no making out but he did take my photo a lot and told me I was beautiful. I also got a message today from him saying he had a great time and we should do it again. There's a curious feeling of power in this, like I get to be the guy for once. And there are feeling of guilt for possibly leading him on but still there's the thrill of having someone actually like you. Boy had a cranky moment last night when I was telling him of the date. It made me feel better, reassured in a way, it means I'm still important to him, something that he's not prepared to lose just yet. I sicken myself. I can't tell him how much he means to me either, that struck me last night, I tell him in little bits and peices but even after that there's this fear in me. And I think I'm afraid that I'll drop all defenses, give in and offer myself up whole and then that'll be when this ends. And I'll lose the ability to detach and walk away from it all, to be The Corrs and say "well I never really loved you anyway".. I have control issues. Which need to just stop. stop. stop. stop. stop. Stop. |
°New °Old °Guestbook °Profile °Who am I? °Design °The Host
Old News
When the tears come streaming down your face, when you lose something you can't replace - Friday, Aug. 18, 2006 |