Haven't been here in a while.. I've been stressed, and had nothing of interest to write. I hate exams, I never do enough work for them, then I freak out afterwards because I'm convinced I'm going to fail which is a fair enough assumption to make given my shockingly poor university attendance, lack of lecture notes and minimal study.

But I guess we'll see what happens.

Thats not why I came on here, the real reason is this little lady with this entry. Essentially it is about the angst and depression I feel because;

My Boyfriend won't let me kiss a girl!

And though girl kissing isn't part of my day to day routine or my "5 year plan" or whatever.. it's still very sad that I'm not allowed to.

And I asked him and he said it constitues cheating! Which I disagree with because;

a) It would only be making out, no sex involved.
b) I'm a good..80-90% straight so it wouldn't lead to emotional attachment.
c) I love him, he knows this.
d) I've never kissed a girl before and this would be a one off.
e) If he ever felt to urge to kiss a guy for the first time then I'd be ok with that.

Oh well... no college experimentation for me.. [Insert sniffle]

Am I crazy for feeling somewhat cheated? Am I being unreasonable or is he? Have you kissed a girl/boy if you are a girl/boy respectively? Tell me of your deep, deep thoughts!
Apart from that things are well between us, we had a major thing a few days ago but I think we're all good now. I think he now understands the things I need in order to feel loved.

The only thing that mildly scares me is his talk of marriage and forever.

This boy is not commitmentphobic, he's commitmentphillic.. I find it scary because I don't think I actually believe in marriage. I mean, 1 in every 3 marriages fails... breaks apart, ends in divorces and hatred and so forth of each other. Of the remaining marriages how many of them are truely happy ones? And how many are just keeping it together for the kids and cheating on their spouses on the side?

I have much of the cynicism.

But I love the Wizard of Oz.